There will be blood

  • 01/09/2008 3:11 pm in

orangekrush2.jpgI live in Chicago, IL. It’s a beautiful, progressive, vibrant city. It’s the home of George Pullman, Daniel Burnham, Jane Addams, Frank Lloyd Wright, Enrico Fermi, Saul Bellow, Carl Sandburg, Muddy Waters, Curtis Mayfield, Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco, and Barack Obama, among many many others. Living here, I am subjected to plenty of things on a daily basis, but chief among is them the fierce compression of culture here, the compacting of not only people but beliefs, histories, and heritages. Long before I arrived, those differing cultures formed something coherent, yet divisionally independent; became a Great City, one which I feel privileged to live in. I embrace this diversity wholeheartedly. It’s a beautiful thing.

But among all this embracing, there is one sect I simply can not tolerate. You probably already know who they are. Illinois fans.

Oh, I like them individually just fine. They are my friends, my friends’ parents; I would never actually claim to hate these people under any normal circumstance. I don’t hate them.

But I hate those colors on their shirts. I hate the self-righteousness around a program with nary a national championship banner hanging from the rafters of their oddly alien Assembly Hall knockoff. I hate the way they treated Eric Gordon, as if this 18-year-old kid was duty bound to them for life, as if he robbed them of their livelihood by defecting to a rival. I hate that a Peoria newspaper editor would dare call Eric Gordon a “steaming pile of two guard,” and then have the balls to apologize for it by saying he “lost his cool.” (You’re a newspaper editor! You’re not supposed to lose your cool in print! And over a high school kid, no less!) I hate their squealing over Kelvin Sampson, as if their own program’s history — even recently; Jamar Smith, anyone? — is squeaky clean. I hate the Chief. Oh, do I hate the Chief, hate the way a backwards minstrel symbol brought an entire stadium of people, many of them supposedly intelligent and college-educated, to tears.

Individually, I like all of these people. My roommate is one of them, and he’s a dear friend. But collectively, I want to — how would Borat put this? I want to crush them. I want to show no mercy. I want to (metaphorically) tear them limb from limb. This Sunday, IU has that chance.

So let this be the official ITH welcome to Illinois Week. Look lively. Sunday, we dine in hell.

Filed to:

  • kelin

    Eric Gordon has made me forget about how much I loved an IU great ….one Isaih Thomas…but Isaih’s coaching, lawsuits, and management skills have also contributed greatly…..

  • kelin

    Eric Gordon has made me forget about how much I loved an IU great ….one Isaih Thomas…but Isaih’s coaching, lawsuits, and management skills have also contributed greatly…..

  • Anonymous

    As a citizen of the fine state of illinois, the son of a Northwestern graduate, and a current IU student, I would just like to say… Fuck Illinois.

    Those Chief loving bastards are gunna get swept this year and wont even make the NIT.

    love, Tim

  • kelin

    Eric Gordon has made me forget about how much I loved an IU great ….one Isaih Thomas…but Isaih’s coaching, lawsuits, and management skills have also contributed greatly…..

  • Tim

    As a citizen of the fine state of illinois, the son of a Northwestern graduate, and a current IU student, I would just like to say… Fuck Illinois.

    Those Chief loving bastards are gunna get swept this year and wont even make the NIT.

    love, Tim

  • Luke

    Kelin, EJ might be the coolest customer I’ve ever seen. He just knows he’s better than anyone and doesn’t need to show it other than drop a 28 foot jumper with ease then drive to the hole and stuff one right over you and then shut you down on other end.

  • Luke

    Kelin, EJ might be the coolest customer I’ve ever seen. He just knows he’s better than anyone and doesn’t need to show it other than drop a 28 foot jumper with ease then drive to the hole and stuff one right over you and then shut you down on other end.

  • Luke

    Kelin, EJ might be the coolest customer I’ve ever seen. He just knows he’s better than anyone and doesn’t need to show it other than drop a 28 foot jumper with ease then drive to the hole and stuff one right over you and then shut you down on other end.

  • Luke

    Kelin, EJ might be the coolest customer I’ve ever seen. He just knows he’s better than anyone and doesn’t need to show it other than drop a 28 foot jumper with ease then drive to the hole and stuff one right over you and then shut you down on other end.

  • ray

    i want to see gordon score fewer points than usual, and have the remainder of the starters score in double digits. i want iu to win without ej to prove that iu is better than illinois regardless. many illini fans believe they would be winning a national championship with gordon. i’m sorry but they have no one in any of their positions that match up to iu.

    i want to see about 10 unnecessary dunks by mcghee in the latter part of the game…when we’re up by about 35! i want iu to dominate the entire game and run up the score. you know that if illinois were capable they would do it to iu in champaign.

    i also want to see another 20 and 20 performance by the monster himself dj white! it’s big ten season, so it’s time for dj white to prove he is b-10 player of the year. gordon scores a lot of points, but dj is capable of a whole lot more.

  • ray

    i want to see gordon score fewer points than usual, and have the remainder of the starters score in double digits. i want iu to win without ej to prove that iu is better than illinois regardless. many illini fans believe they would be winning a national championship with gordon. i’m sorry but they have no one in any of their positions that match up to iu.

    i want to see about 10 unnecessary dunks by mcghee in the latter part of the game…when we’re up by about 35! i want iu to dominate the entire game and run up the score. you know that if illinois were capable they would do it to iu in champaign.

    i also want to see another 20 and 20 performance by the monster himself dj white! it’s big ten season, so it’s time for dj white to prove he is b-10 player of the year. gordon scores a lot of points, but dj is capable of a whole lot more.

  • ray

    i want to see gordon score fewer points than usual, and have the remainder of the starters score in double digits. i want iu to win without ej to prove that iu is better than illinois regardless. many illini fans believe they would be winning a national championship with gordon. i’m sorry but they have no one in any of their positions that match up to iu.

    i want to see about 10 unnecessary dunks by mcghee in the latter part of the game…when we’re up by about 35! i want iu to dominate the entire game and run up the score. you know that if illinois were capable they would do it to iu in champaign.

    i also want to see another 20 and 20 performance by the monster himself dj white! it’s big ten season, so it’s time for dj white to prove he is b-10 player of the year. gordon scores a lot of points, but dj is capable of a whole lot more.

  • ray

    i want to see gordon score fewer points than usual, and have the remainder of the starters score in double digits. i want iu to win without ej to prove that iu is better than illinois regardless. many illini fans believe they would be winning a national championship with gordon. i’m sorry but they have no one in any of their positions that match up to iu.

    i want to see about 10 unnecessary dunks by mcghee in the latter part of the game…when we’re up by about 35! i want iu to dominate the entire game and run up the score. you know that if illinois were capable they would do it to iu in champaign.

    i also want to see another 20 and 20 performance by the monster himself dj white! it’s big ten season, so it’s time for dj white to prove he is b-10 player of the year. gordon scores a lot of points, but dj is capable of a whole lot more.

  • Postman, this is brilliant. I, too, lived in Chicago as an IU fan for the better part of 20 years. And there is a really suprising parallel with that other team with a “second-best” mentality – the White Sox. I like the White Sox and what they represent. I like the Illini (at least in the past – the Flyin’ Illini of the 80s were among the most exciting teams of all time). But their fans are ridiculous.
    They are clearly overcompensating for a deep-seated insecurity about themselves and their university. It’s sad enough that I feel sorry for them – but not so sad that I don’t want to absolutely destroy U of I when we meet on Sunday.

  • Postman, this is brilliant. I, too, lived in Chicago as an IU fan for the better part of 20 years. And there is a really suprising parallel with that other team with a “second-best” mentality – the White Sox. I like the White Sox and what they represent. I like the Illini (at least in the past – the Flyin’ Illini of the 80s were among the most exciting teams of all time). But their fans are ridiculous.
    They are clearly overcompensating for a deep-seated insecurity about themselves and their university. It’s sad enough that I feel sorry for them – but not so sad that I don’t want to absolutely destroy U of I when we meet on Sunday.

  • Moose,

    Unfortunately, E likes the Cubs. We try not to hold that against him.

  • Moose,

    Unfortunately, E likes the Cubs. We try not to hold that against him.

  • Stephen

    I seem to remember Marcus Liberty or Kendall Gill (it was one of those bastards I think)nailing a halfcourter to beat after Jay Edwards had just canned a big shot for the Hoosiers.

    Ever since then I’ve despised the Illini and the “only against IU” feeling that someone’s going to drop some circus shot bomb on us, i.e. Plavich, and recently Iowa and Michigan…

    It’s Orange CrushED this weekend.

  • Stephen

    I seem to remember Marcus Liberty or Kendall Gill (it was one of those bastards I think)nailing a halfcourter to beat after Jay Edwards had just canned a big shot for the Hoosiers.

    Ever since then I’ve despised the Illini and the “only against IU” feeling that someone’s going to drop some circus shot bomb on us, i.e. Plavich, and recently Iowa and Michigan…

    It’s Orange CrushED this weekend.

  • Stephen

    Good call on Gordon not scoring a ton of points.

    While I’d love to see him drop 40 with nary an expression other than that “I am the man” stoic look, it would be nice to see us just flat dominate without him putting up big numbers.

    With that said, Illinois will cry about Gordon regardless of how many points Gordon does or does not put up against them. No matter what, they’ll find a way to say the only reason we won was because we had him and ONLY IF they had him…

    So I say he might as well just score 40.

    GO HOOSIERS!

  • Stephen

    Good call on Gordon not scoring a ton of points.

    While I’d love to see him drop 40 with nary an expression other than that “I am the man” stoic look, it would be nice to see us just flat dominate without him putting up big numbers.

    With that said, Illinois will cry about Gordon regardless of how many points Gordon does or does not put up against them. No matter what, they’ll find a way to say the only reason we won was because we had him and ONLY IF they had him…

    So I say he might as well just score 40.

    GO HOOSIERS!

  • Calbert Cheaney

    best article i have read on this site

  • Calbert Cheaney

    best article i have read on this site

  • It looks like Moose is a Cubs fan too, A. I think he’s talking about Sox fans’ insecurity about their lack of attention in the Chicago area. But we’ll get into that topic another time. 🙂

  • It looks like Moose is a Cubs fan too, A. I think he’s talking about Sox fans’ insecurity about their lack of attention in the Chicago area. But we’ll get into that topic another time. 🙂

  • ray

    i would be okay with that as well stephen…and you’re right, they’ll moan either way excusing the loss to not having mr. gordon on their side.

  • ray

    i would be okay with that as well stephen…and you’re right, they’ll moan either way excusing the loss to not having mr. gordon on their side.

  • PB

    I live in chicago, I am going to Joe’s Saturday, and I cannot wait to see the look on those orange assholes’ faces when EJ lights them up like christmas trees.

    God it’s going to be a beautiful sight. This is why we love sports!

  • PB

    I live in chicago, I am going to Joe’s Saturday, and I cannot wait to see the look on those orange assholes’ faces when EJ lights them up like christmas trees.

    God it’s going to be a beautiful sight. This is why we love sports!

  • PB

    I live in chicago, I am going to Joe’s Saturday, and I cannot wait to see the look on those orange assholes’ faces when EJ lights them up like christmas trees.

    God it’s going to be a beautiful sight. This is why we love sports!

  • PB

    I live in chicago, I am going to Joe’s Saturday, and I cannot wait to see the look on those orange assholes’ faces when EJ lights them up like christmas trees.

    God it’s going to be a beautiful sight. This is why we love sports!

  • knasmiley

    Stephen, that was Nick Anderson, I remember that too like it was yesturday……….

    I look for the Hoosier to control the whole game Sunday and win by 20, 68-48 IU. UI will SLOW it down but that will slow them down too, talent level will end up pushing a 20 pt win and a 10pt win at UI….

  • knasmiley

    Stephen, that was Nick Anderson, I remember that too like it was yesturday……….

    I look for the Hoosier to control the whole game Sunday and win by 20, 68-48 IU. UI will SLOW it down but that will slow them down too, talent level will end up pushing a 20 pt win and a 10pt win at UI….

  • knasmiley

    Stephen, that was Nick Anderson, I remember that too like it was yesturday……….

    I look for the Hoosier to control the whole game Sunday and win by 20, 68-48 IU. UI will SLOW it down but that will slow them down too, talent level will end up pushing a 20 pt win and a 10pt win at UI….

  • T

    PostmanE: White Sox fans can’t be like Illinois fans…we’ve won a championship recently…

    And what a great weekend for sports? NFL playoffs second round, (in my opinion, always the best round) and then Indiana’s massacre of Illinois. Gotta love Sports

  • T

    PostmanE: White Sox fans can’t be like Illinois fans…we’ve won a championship recently…

    And what a great weekend for sports? NFL playoffs second round, (in my opinion, always the best round) and then Indiana’s massacre of Illinois. Gotta love Sports

  • Ollie Skrivanie

    Bruce Weber is the best defensive coach in the Big 10 and I am an IU fan! But this Eric Gordon thing is blown all out of proportion!! When Bill Bradley was a senior and no. 1 player in high school at Crystal City, Mo. he committed to Duke. Then changed his mind and went to Princeton. There was no animosity at all because of this and the Duke coach wished him well. These players are not chattels!!!!! If Weber could recruit, look out! Maybe the 2009-10 class will prove his ability. But stop the God awful whinning!!!!!

  • Ollie Skrivanie

    Bruce Weber is the best defensive coach in the Big 10 and I am an IU fan! But this Eric Gordon thing is blown all out of proportion!! When Bill Bradley was a senior and no. 1 player in high school at Crystal City, Mo. he committed to Duke. Then changed his mind and went to Princeton. There was no animosity at all because of this and the Duke coach wished him well. These players are not chattels!!!!! If Weber could recruit, look out! Maybe the 2009-10 class will prove his ability. But stop the God awful whinning!!!!!

  • Stephen

    KNASMILEY: Thanks for the correction. Nick Anderson…ahh yes…I guess I had the name burned from memory but the image remained…

    GO HOOSIERS!

  • Stephen

    KNASMILEY: Thanks for the correction. Nick Anderson…ahh yes…I guess I had the name burned from memory but the image remained…

    GO HOOSIERS!

  • Sticky Green

    I am a fan of PostmanE & R and what they have been doing since ’05. This is a great article and should be published in U of I’s school newspaper. U of I is not going to be good again and they are trying to take pride in having Luther Head’s brother verbally commit to their school…and he is just a sophomore in high school! It is obvious Weber can not recruit (going to the final was with Self’s players)and he should go back to coaching at MVC caliber schools like SIU and Purdue. He has let numerous studs from Chicago leave the state (2 studs to Oregon, Rose, Wright, amongst others)but there is some hope….Jordan’s son walked on!!! His best offer was Illinois State so at least U of I got some publicity for a couple days. Let’s face it, like stated before, the fans are good individually but suck dick as a whole. I don’t know how horrible it was to see old men and women wear that gay chief shirt when they were ‘good’ and talk about how they are alumni, though 80% of them couldn’t get into that school today. Fuck U of I, go IU. The only bad thing about IU is when the wind is blowing east because that horrible aroma of chow shit and ugly girls is in the air from U of I.

  • Sticky Green

    I am a fan of PostmanE & R and what they have been doing since ’05. This is a great article and should be published in U of I’s school newspaper. U of I is not going to be good again and they are trying to take pride in having Luther Head’s brother verbally commit to their school…and he is just a sophomore in high school! It is obvious Weber can not recruit (going to the final was with Self’s players)and he should go back to coaching at MVC caliber schools like SIU and Purdue. He has let numerous studs from Chicago leave the state (2 studs to Oregon, Rose, Wright, amongst others)but there is some hope….Jordan’s son walked on!!! His best offer was Illinois State so at least U of I got some publicity for a couple days. Let’s face it, like stated before, the fans are good individually but suck dick as a whole. I don’t know how horrible it was to see old men and women wear that gay chief shirt when they were ‘good’ and talk about how they are alumni, though 80% of them couldn’t get into that school today. Fuck U of I, go IU. The only bad thing about IU is when the wind is blowing east because that horrible aroma of chow shit and ugly girls is in the air from U of I.

  • HITEC24

    Subject: HUGE CUSTODY BATTLE IN CHAMPAIGN, IL
    Very Very sad but true …………

    Champaign, IL(AP) – A seven-year-old Champaign, IL boy was at the center of a courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him.

    The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law
    and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible. The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her.

    When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the
    immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

    After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the University of Illinois Illini, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

    GO IU, FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!

  • HITEC24

    Subject: HUGE CUSTODY BATTLE IN CHAMPAIGN, IL
    Very Very sad but true …………

    Champaign, IL(AP) – A seven-year-old Champaign, IL boy was at the center of a courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him.

    The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law
    and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible. The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her.

    When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the
    immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

    After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the University of Illinois Illini, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

    GO IU, FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!

  • Jamont

    F U Illinois…I am neither an Indiana fan, supporter or student…I don’t really even like Indiana…BUT Screw you and the horse you rode in on…the way your players treated the Indiana players tonight is disgraceful to your university’s name and everything associated with it. F U Illinois your players are classless and your fans through crap at the IU players parents.

    FU Illinois from an unbiased basketball fan just looking for a good BASKETBALL game. Leave that other crap at home…control your emotions you classless fools.

  • Jamont

    F U Illinois…I am neither an Indiana fan, supporter or student…I don’t really even like Indiana…BUT Screw you and the horse you rode in on…the way your players treated the Indiana players tonight is disgraceful to your university’s name and everything associated with it. F U Illinois your players are classless and your fans through crap at the IU players parents.

    FU Illinois from an unbiased basketball fan just looking for a good BASKETBALL game. Leave that other crap at home…control your emotions you classless fools.